”To a liar, the most dangerous individual is the one who catches lies but doesn’t say anything about it. Then the liar isn’t sure which lies are compromised” - Jesse Ball
You know when people habitually lie, do you 'pretend' you believe them because it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things if it is the truth or not? I have found myself doing this many times because I assume the person doing it has their reasons and as long as I am aware of the lies I am not being manipulated.
No harm no foul?
How do you handle it when someone tells you the most outrageous things?
Many years ago now I used to know a fellow school mum who one day won the 'lottery', £250,000 she said. But she couldn't tell anyone but me.
Therein is the clue. Since when did I become her closest confidant?
I believed her for half a second, played along, gave her a congratulatory hug and she seemed really happy. So I thought it was worth it, to live the lie with her.
But where does it end? The next time I saw her I felt obliged to ask about her 'win' and how she was spending it etc. etc. She seemed less enthusiastic to talk about, the amount had dropped to £25,000 and it was all rather vague.
The next time I saw her she was pregnant. Not by her husband but by her 'lover'. She was excited and was keeping it and we discussed the ramifications as we gossiped outside the school gates.
The next time I saw her, I asked how she was and how the pregnancy was going. She seemed to have forgotten she was pregnant, she'd made a mistake?
Every week our conversations followed the same cycle. An outrageous claim followed by her completely forgetting all about it a week later. This lady is a rather extreme example of what I come across fairly often in the present. I was just wondering why people do it and if my approach of 'playing along' is the best approach?
I can't relate to the psychology of this behavior but was it harmful, that I shared 'her truth'?
Also if you were to call someone out for the lies, what would be the gain? They'd just follow it up with more lies, defensive posturing, and they 'lose' and we 'lose' someone who outside their fantasy bubble is otherwise a good person.
I am not a fan of false behavior as anyone who knows me knows ... and so this goes against my nature. I sacrifice a little bit of myself whenever I am around these people so, in the end, I avoid them.
Can I learn how to tell if someone is lying to me?
There are ways to get someone you know is lying to tell you truth, but to do that you have to indicate to them that they are not. Meanwhile, how do you know they are lying to you in the first place, is there a way to learn how to spot lies? Yes, there is and fortunately, there are books on it, here is one such book available now via Amazon #ad.
Is there a spell to catch a liar?
I don't need a spell to catch a liar, but if you do and want to try one, there are a few online. I have no idea how successful they are! But here's one that seems popular.